Tag Archives: poetry

Little Notes In Library Books XIV

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Little Notes In Library Books XIV

(Photo courtesy of google images)

Sometimes I feel like there's a hand in my stomach squeezing and twisting all the way up to my throat
The cold claws dig deep into my scalp releasing a stinging venom that trickles down my eyes and cheeks
Steel rods punch into my sternum with a force that could knock down the most muscular body
A large burning ball in my throat nearly chokes me to death and I swallow hard to shift it
That's when the despair, distress, alarm, fear, helplessness kicks in
That's when I feel I've lost all control
When I know I can't keep everyone safe
When my mind races with exaggerated scenarios and shows me scenes I don't want to think about
Oh I'm sorry, do I seem a little snappy?
It's ok, don't you worry about a thing; I'm fine… really

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Little Notes in Library Books IX

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Little Notes in Library Books IX

My face is full

My breast ample

My hips round 

My thighs sturdy 

I appear solid

But I am not solid

This is just a delicate shell

Thin paper walls

Hiding the truth 

Loud sounds to hide the inner silence 

Hollow, cold, lonely

So alone my heart shivers

No warmth of love 

No comfort, support 

No home within me 

Just this paper shell

Echos of hope now died 

Romantic scenes now haunting silouettes 

Jaded and hopeless

But for one dim glow

The pilot light

The one that cannot stop loving

Cannot burn all hope out

The cold nothing creeps upon it

Threatening to extinguish faith 

Reels tick over a projector 

The dreams of a young girl

A star, special magic eyes, a horse, a talented young prince 

Someday someday excuse

Unloveable and unloved 

Alone without a soulmate to help my light shine and fill me with hope and love 

Alone without the star of the flickering movie

Sometimes it is the most important thing to a person

Like air

Sometimes the need for love is what wastes us away and makes us hollow inside

Little notes in library books VIII

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Little notes in library books VIII

A word to the wise

The strong man is never as expected

The weaker may surprise

Not arms nor legs nor shoulders defined

Not a strong brow or piercing eyes

Strength has not a physical form

It sits deep within the chest

Its doing your best, trying against all odds

He who is strong is unafraid to love

to laugh, to cry, to play, to work

He takes it in his stride, quietly being solid

He may not be the loudest or the daredevil

he may be the carer, the supporter, the safety of home

But he is strong, he is always true to himself

He is everything to those he loves and they him.

Yes, physicality is also strength

but don’t discount all others

you may find you have missed gold while mining for iron

When in the dark I think

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When in the dark I think

Sometimes my mind hurts me 

I say the wrong things

I push the argument

I play devils advocate just because

I make them hate me 

I hate me

I feel the pain of the other times

The times when I did this before

The time I pushed him to breaking

The time I made him hurt

The time he paid me back

The time he stopped caring

I created it and I use it now

I use it to strengthen the pain

I bathe in the pain 

I say the wrong things

I lose

The Directors dinner Part II

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The Directors dinner Part II

The dinner at the director’s house was a bore.

Jasmine looked around the grand marquee in the vast grounds of the mansion. It had been decorated with beautiful twinkling lights and swathes of material arranged from the roof. She looked at the people on her table; vacuous blonde models draped over old men with high blood pressure, who’s attraction lay solely in their bulging wallets and healthy bank balance.

Kai had left her at the table and gone to speak to Mr. Big-Shot-Director and his buddies. Jasmine was not interested in getting to know them. She had hated all his movies and found him to be a complete buffoon.

As she watched her beau converse enthusiastically with Mr. Big-Shot and his cronies, she turned her head away to the table and let out a loud, long yawn. The blonde with the sequined gold gown and no chest glowered at her. The other blondes then joined in, glaring, frowning and tutting. Jasmine felt like a naughty child that had interrupted a school assembly. She turned her head back to where Kai had been standing.

He wasn’t there.

Suddenly, she felt his warm hand touch her shoulder.

“This isn’t really your style is it?” He looked down at Jasmine as she turned her body round in her chair to face him. Leaning down towards her ear he whispered: “Truthfully, it’s not mine either.”

Mr. Big-Shot walked over and patted Kai on the back. As Kai stood up, the director handed him a key. He smiled, winked and then walked away.

“Thanks buddy,” Kai called after him, receiving a ‘no problem’ wave in return.

“What was that all about?” Jasmine enquired suspiciously.

“Oh, he just owes me a favour and I’m calling it in.” Kai picked Jasmine’s purse up from the table “Come on, let’s go.”

“What? We cant. You’re the guest of honour,” Jasmine responded. “ Anyway, what favour? How are you ‘calling it in’? What are you up to Kai Charles Evans?”

Ever the gentleman, Kai took her hand and helped her up out of her chair.

“Just trust me Jasmine Saffron Heart,” he grinned, making a point to enunciate each letter. Much to the disfavor of the on looking models, he kissed her tenderly on the lips. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.”

He picked up her shawl and handed it, along with the purse to Jasmine. Entwining his long fingers between hers, Kai led her out of the marquee. Instead of making his way down the side of the great house towards the car, he went to the tall patio doors, slid them open and helped her up the step.

“Now, I need a blindfold,” he said, sounding like a man on a mission. “Gimme that.” He nodded towards Jasmine’s hand.

“Why?” Jasmine queried, sounding worried. Kai took the shawl from her hand. “What are you going to do?” She was sure they where not allowed to be in this part of the estate and felt like an intruder in the grand mansion.

“I told you,” Kai said as he folded the shawl to half its width. “It’s nothing bad. Just humour me, will ya!”

He blindfolded her, taking care not to flatten her curls. A sudden surge of electricity shot through Jasmine as his hand brushed the back of her neck. Goosebumps covered her arms. Standing in front of her, taking hold of both her hands, he guided her forward. Before long, he placed his hands on her hips and turned her to her left.

As he moved to stand in front of her, Jasmine could smell Hugo Boss Man radiating from his skin. She threw her arms around his neck and nuzzled closer, breathing in his masculine scent. His beard tickled her face as she trailed soft kisses up to his ear. Kai turned his face to her and brushed his lips sensually across hers. Then, he stepped away. Once again he grasped her hands and continued to walk, stopping her at a set of steps.

“There are a couple of steps here, Angel. But don’t worry, I’ve got you.” He proceeded to escort her down the steep stairs. “That’s it, slowly… only a few more steps to go.”

When they reached the foot of the stairs, Kai stood Jasmine in front of a set of heavy double doors. She lifted her hands to remove the improvised blindfold, but her fiancé took her hands before she could remove the shawl.

“Not yet. Wait until we get in,” he said, now sounding excited and very pleased with himself. “Wait there.”

He took the key from his pocket, turned it in the lock and opened the door. He moved around to stand behind Jasmine before leading her onward an additional four steps. He closed and locked the doors behind them leaving the key in the lock. Slowly and carefully, he untied the blindfold.

As Jasmine’s eyes adjusted to the light she noticed that the dark ceiling was covered in low-lit spotlights. She looked down to find several rows of dark leather seats with cup holders in the arm of each one. As she turned to the front of the room her jaw dropped. There was a low, black stage in front of an immense cinema screen. She had to admit to herself, Mr. Big-Shot had good taste. The home cinema was the most impressive Jasmine had ever seen.

Kai ran enthusiastically to the stage and waved to Jasmine to join him. He then moved around to the back of the screen and returned with a red and white picnic blanket and a whicker hamper in his arms.

“So this is what you were plotting!” Jasmine exclaimed as Kai laid the blanket out and placed the hamper next to it. He helped her on to the blanket and poured her a flute of champagne.

“Make yourself cozy. I’ll be back in a sec,” he said, backing away towards the rear of the cinema. He stopped for a moment and turned to face her.

“Oh, by the way, what’s your favourite old film again?” He asked, cocking his head cutely to the side like an inquisitive pup.

“Err, I don’t know… Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” Jasmine answered.

“Really? Isn’t there anything else?” Kai complained as he scrunched up his face disapprovingly.

“You asked me what my favourite film was!” Jasmine shrugged. “What about Casablanca?” She took a sip of her champagne, it was cool and refreshing and the bubbles fizzed all the way down her throat.

“That’s much better,” Kai beamed as he turned back and disappeared through a little door at the back of the room.

Tucking her legs to one side, Jasmine leant over to the picnic basket and opened the lid. Inside there were little Tupperware pots containing strawberries, cream, and a Caesar salad. There was also a large box of Belgian chocolates. She took out the pot of ruby red strawberries and the container of cream. Grabbing one that looked big and juicy, Jasmine coated the tip in the cream and took a bite. It tasted heavenly.

The boy done good! She thought to herself.

Little notes in library books VI

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Flower girl by Andrea Montez

Little bud shy and small

Some day you will be proud and tall 

You’ll open up and show the sky

How well you charm the birds that fly

Above your head and off afar

Searching for the prettiest star

Why do they not look to the ground?

For there is where true beauty is found 

For you are growing steady and sure

Graceful, vivacious for all to adore. 

Little Notes In Library Books V 

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Image: Winged ship fleeing into the open waters, by Vladimir Kush

Don’t be scared

I know it’s scary

Out of your control 

The waves will take you where they wish 

Your path is planned by the overpowering sea

Your fate whatever the water decides it to be 

You daren’t even face the direction you secretly desire 

You are helpless 

Except…
 I am the breeze 

I will guild your ship to the shore 

The haven you seek

I will fill your sails with life and not falter until you are home

I can do that, I am the breeze that with the sun shine guides you

Raise your sails, let me do this for you 

Don’t be scared

I will blow gently through your hair as you sleep

Sending you sweet dreams and comfort till morning 

I will fight away the rain

I can do that

I can do that for you

Let me do that for you