(Photo courtesy of google images)
Sometimes I feel like there's a hand in my stomach squeezing and twisting all the way up to my throat
The cold claws dig deep into my scalp releasing a stinging venom that trickles down my eyes and cheeks
Steel rods punch into my sternum with a force that could knock down the most muscular body
A large burning ball in my throat nearly chokes me to death and I swallow hard to shift it
That's when the despair, distress, alarm, fear, helplessness kicks in
That's when I feel I've lost all control
When I know I can't keep everyone safe
When my mind races with exaggerated scenarios and shows me scenes I don't want to think about
Oh I'm sorry, do I seem a little snappy?
It's ok, don't you worry about a thing; I'm fine… really
A smile says everything
Comfort, happiness, support, friendship, agreement, admiration, love, encouragement, attraction, caring, thankfulness, fulfilment, adoration, appreciation, Soul
I’m always scared
There’s no voice inside my head
That tells me I can’t do it
It’s just all of me
Everything about me
I try to push forward on the advice of others
But I’m still holding back
Am I the only one?
You are unique
But are you?
Aren’t you just like everyone else
You try so hard to be
You once didn’t care
A jolly laugh and scruffy hair
The phone that you spent your last penny on was once a cheerful plastic friend with a smiley face. He didn’t need to be upgraded.
Fashion was just a word to explain the cut up doll clothes and marker pen makeup
The random spinning and frantic wiggling has been replaced with a dance confined to a half meter square and involves self discipline and just the right pose.
Yes I do believe we are somewhat unique at first. We are free to be
But now? As you take the seventy third selfie of the day
As you adorn yourself with the popular fashion of the minute and force your hair to comply with what is on trend
Are you still as unique?
And is it all as fun as it was when you didn’t even know what a hashtag was?
What actually happens when you break from that group of clones?
Nothing. You don’t combust or lose everything. You’re just fine
No need to check social media. The trend today is whatever you make it.
The days hot topics don’t need hash tags and the food you eat is your choice not the most dominant “friend’s”
Don’t like that? Gone
Like that? Great!
No it’s not uncool. What does that even mean?
Fun isn’t it!
Now. Are you unique?
My face is full
My breast ample
My hips round
My thighs sturdy
I appear solid
But I am not solid
This is just a delicate shell
Thin paper walls
Hiding the truth
Loud sounds to hide the inner silence
Hollow, cold, lonely
So alone my heart shivers
No warmth of love
No comfort, support
No home within me
Just this paper shell
Echos of hope now died
Romantic scenes now haunting silouettes
Jaded and hopeless
But for one dim glow
The pilot light
The one that cannot stop loving
Cannot burn all hope out
The cold nothing creeps upon it
Threatening to extinguish faith
Reels tick over a projector
The dreams of a young girl
A star, special magic eyes, a horse, a talented young prince
Someday someday excuse
Unloveable and unloved
Alone without a soulmate to help my light shine and fill me with hope and love
Alone without the star of the flickering movie
Sometimes it is the most important thing to a person
Sometimes the need for love is what wastes us away and makes us hollow inside
A word to the wise
The strong man is never as expected
The weaker may surprise
Not arms nor legs nor shoulders defined
Not a strong brow or piercing eyes
Strength has not a physical form
It sits deep within the chest
Its doing your best, trying against all odds
He who is strong is unafraid to love
to laugh, to cry, to play, to work
He takes it in his stride, quietly being solid
He may not be the loudest or the daredevil
he may be the carer, the supporter, the safety of home
But he is strong, he is always true to himself
He is everything to those he loves and they him.
Yes, physicality is also strength
but don’t discount all others
you may find you have missed gold while mining for iron